


Not Everyone is How They Seem

by Winiter



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Cussing, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone lives, F/F, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, Self Harm, Suicide Attempts, squip squad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-04-06 23:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14067573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winiter/pseuds/Winiter
Summary: Michael stood on the edge of the bridge, leaning against the railing, as he looked down at the water crashing up against the rocks. He couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t deal with all the fake smiles, the fake laughs, and the people pretending to be his friends. Hell, it wasn’t like his best friend, well, his ex best friend, he wasn’t even sure what they were anymore, had noticed. He sighed pulling his long sleeve ‘Creeps’ sweater closer around himself as he shiver slightly from the cold. He had left his signature red hoodie back at home along with a note explaining everything.





	1. The Letter and the Hoodie

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published Bmc fanfic but I plan on publishing more along the way. I’ll try to keep this updated regularly but between school and sports it might be a while at times.

Michael stood on the edge of the bridge, leaning against the railing, as he looked down at the water crashing up against the rocks. He couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t deal with all the fake smiles, the fake laughs, and the people pretending to be his friends. Hell, it wasn’t like his best friend, well, his ex best friend, he wasn’t even sure what they were anymore, had noticed. He sighed pulling his long sleeve ‘Creeps’ sweater closer around himself as he shivered slightly from the cold. He had left his signature red hoodie back at home along with a note explaining everything.

“Might as well go out wearing what I got my world crushed in…” Michael mumbled as tears slipped down his face.

 

Jeremy had been noticing something had been up with Michael for a while, although he wasn’t sure when it started he was determined to get to the bottom of it. After texting him a few times and trying to call him, his brain was going through all the worst possible things that could have happened as he started running to Michael’s. 

When he arrived he was out of breath and tried the door handle, it was unlocked which instantly sent up red flags. “M-Mikey…? Michael!” Jeremy called out, running through the empty house, it wasn’t uncommon for Michael’s parents to be out on business trips but Michael was almost always home. 

He checked Michael’s room finding nothing out of the ordinary before running to the basement and freezing. “N-No…” Jeremy mumbled running to his best friends red hoodie and the letter, shaking as he picked it up.

 

Dear whoever finds this,  
I just want to say I’m sorry, I guess. Well I mean I’m not for what I’m doing or, well did, but I’m sorry for whoever finds me and pulls me out of the river. I guess I should explain what happened and why you’re finding my hoodie with this letter. My hoodie is with it because I decided to wear what I was wearing when my world got crushed, my ‘Creeps’ sweater from the Halloween party. I mean, I had always know I was a loser but hearing my only friend who has been with me forever call me one and then leave just reinforced the idea. I wish I hadn’t been pulled out of that fucking fire that Rich set, I would have rather died then, but nope, Jake just had to save me along with Rich when he didn’t even know me. Sure I managed to save everyone at the play from the Squip but it seems like everyone grew really close after that and I was just known as that kid who saved everyone. I mean even my ex best friend chose his new friends and girlfriend over me, sure he tried to make me sit with them but I just couldn’t, they all got along so well and I was just there, an awkward ball of anxiety and depression so I started making up excuses and he bought them with no questions asked. I know no one is gonna miss me so I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I guess just so people know I didn’t get kidnapped or murdered.  
Well, sincerely me,  
Michael Mell

 

Jeremy felt tears running down his face before he was even done reading the letter. He quickly turned away, dropping it and almost falling as he ran out of Michael’s house to the bridge, praying he wasn’t too late and would make it in time.

What Jeremy saw though, made his blood run cold as he yelled out, running faster. “Michael! No!”


	2. Jeremy’s Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael had just finished climbing on top of the railing when he heard Jeremy’s yell, he turned around surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of you know, interacting with other people during a party I went to, I hid in the corner and wrote this instead.

Michael had just finished climbing on top of the railing when he heard Jeremy’s yell. He turned around surprised, seeing Jeremy running towards him, he slipped, falling backwards off the railing and the bridge. 

“No!” Jeremy sprinted towards Michael, diving forward and trying to grab him as Michael tried to move out of his reach. Jeremy managed to grab Michael’s hand and was only holding him up by adrenaline.

“Let go of me Jeremiah!” Michael yelled, clawing at Jeremy’s hand, while wiggling to try and get out of his grip. 

“N-No!” Jeremy grunted, trying to pull Michael up as he started slipping away, causing him to panic.

The shorter boy smiled as he realized Jeremy was losing his grip. “Let go!” He start thrashing around violently before he slipped through, falling.

“Michael!” The taller boy screamed as Michael slipped away, hitting a rock with a sickening crack before slipping under the current.

Michael let out a groan as he hit the rock, closing his eyes as he slipped into the water, turning it slightly red.

Jeremy ran down to the side of the water, throwing his phone on the ground before diving in and pulling Michael out, laying him down gently as he called 911.

Michael heard someone faintly talking as he started drifting away, losing consciousness from the water in his lungs and blood he was losing from hitting the rock. 

Jeremy ran a hand through his messy hair, looking down at Michael as tears ran down his face. “It’s o-okay Mikey, it’ll be-be okay, h-help is com-coming, just h-hold on p-please.”

Michael didn’t respond even when Jeremy picked him up and started shaking him.

“Mikey? M-Michael! Please! I c-can’t do this-this wit-without you…” Jeremy wailed, burying his head into Michael’s chest.

All that was left was to see if fate would be kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friend at the party: Whatcha working on?
> 
> Me: A story
> 
> Friend: I swear if it’s another fanfic
> 
> Me:...
> 
> Friend:... *Slowly leaves to be social*


	3. The Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy was unsure how long he had been waiting with little to no word on how Michael was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up with the names for the group chat was actually a lot of fun and I snuck in a reference to a movie/another musical I’m obsessed with.

Jeremy was unsure how long he had been waiting with little to no word on how Michael was doing. He knew it had to have been at least a few hours with all the different people that had passed but for the exact amount, he wasn’t sure. Jeremy looked down at his phone with a sigh, it was blowing up with texts from the Squip squad, wanting to know what was happening and why they hadn’t heard anything in over a day from him and Michael.

 

TheFlamingBi: Jeremy? Michael? What’s going on?

JD: Yeah, come on dudes, don’t leave us in the dark.

TheaterGeek: I don’t really expect them to answer guys.

PinkBerry: It would still be nice to know what’s happening though…

ChloeShow: I know but who knows if they even have their phones.

TheGossipQueen: I don’t know but I heard something happened with Michael.

TheFlamingBi: Wait really!?! Is that why neither one of them are responding?!? I’ll beat up whoever did this to him!

HeereHere: ….

TheaterGeek: Jeremy…? You okay…?

HeereHere: You’d have to beat me up the Rich…

JD: What’d you do?

HeereHere: I didn’t realize until it was too late…

PinkBerry: What are you talking about? What happened?

HeereHere: He jumped off the bridge…

ChloeShow: Omg...

TheGossipQueen: Is he okay?

TheFlamingBi: Where is he? Where are you?

JD: Guys calm down, he’s going through a lot.

TheaterGeek: Jake’s right, we shouldn’t bombard him with questions.

HeereHere: It’s okay…

HeereHere: I don’t know how he is…

HeereHere: They won’t let me see him…

HeereHere: We’re at the hospital, been here for a couple hours…

TheFlamingBi: We’ll be there soon.

HeereHere: You don’t have to...

TheaterGeek: We’re his friends too and you shouldn’t be alone right now Jer.

HeereHere: Thank you...

 

Jeremy sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, hugging them closely as he fought to stay awake. Thirty minutes had passed by with no words besides the occasional reassurance that everything would be fine from nurses. 

The Squip Squad made it with food and blankets when Jeremy had finally dozed off.

Christine motioned for everyone to be quiet as she draped a blanket over Jeremy before sitting down with Jenna.

They all sat mumbling quietly among themselves, trying not to wake Jeremy as they waited for any news.

 

Jeremy let out a whimper as he saw the Squip dangling a lifeless Michael over the edge of the bridge. He tried to run over to them, he tried to save Michael’s body but he couldn’t move as he watched the Squip throw him down like he was just trash.

“ThIs Is YoUr FaUlT!” The Squip voice cracked as he started walking towards Jeremy, shocking him. “If YoU hAd LiStEnEd ThIs WoUlDn’T hAvE hApPaNeD!”

Jeremy let out a cry of pain as neon blue markings started crawling up his wrists to his face with every shock.

The Squip laughed as it turned up the intensity. “MaYbE yOu’Ll LiStEn NeXt TiMe~”

 

The Squip Squad jumped as they heard Jeremy whimper before cry out in pain, shaking in his sleep.

Rich jumped up from where he was cuddled up next to Jake and shook Jeremy violently, trying to wake him up. “Tall ass! Come on! Jeremy!”

Jeremy woke up pushing Rich away as he whimpered, curling up into a ball, shaking.

Brooke and Chloe glanced at each before getting up to comfort him.

“Hey Jer, it’s okay, it was just a dream, it wasn’t real and can’t hurt you.” Brooke murmured trying to reassure him as Chloe held her hand supportively.

“Yeah, it can’t hurt you anymore Jeremy.” Chloe nodded, adding onto what Brooke had said.

Jeremy slowly sat up shaking as he tried to calm down. “Y-Yeah…”

Jenna gave him a worried look before snuggling backup to Christine, who was looking around to see if anyone had noticed what had happened, thankfully no one did.

“You’re here for Michael Mell?” A kind looking nurse asked as she approached them.

Everyone quickly looked at her, nodding with worry showing.

She motioned for them to follow her as she lead them back to where Michael was. “He’s in stable condition for the moment.”


	4. IVs and Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael wakes up to a worried Jeremy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update right now while I get back used to going to school after being on spring break.

Jeremy was the only one to go into Michael’s room, they didn’t want to overwhelm him as soon as he woke up after everything that had happened.

Michael let out a soft groan as he woke up, his head pounding and vision blurry as he felt around for his glasses, letting out a cry of pain as he moved.

Jeremy jumped up as soon as he saw Michael move, rushing over and handing him his glasses once he realized that’s what he was looking for. Michael put them on blinking a few times before clearly seeing Jeremy in front of him.

“A-Am I de-dead…?” Michael mumbled, looking away from him.

“No, tha-thankfully not…” Jeremy murmured, grabbing one of Michael’s hands, shaking as tears welled up in his eyes. “Why… W-Why did yo-you do-do that…?”

Michael stayed silent as he kept his gaze down at the ground, refusing to look up at Jeremy.

“M-Michael… please... pl-please t-talk to me-me…” Jeremy begged as tears started rolling down his face.

“I w-want to die… I n-never told you be-because I didn’t want you to-to worry when y-you have all your ow-own problems…” Michael turned away as best he could, letting out a whimper of pain as he moved, his heart breaking from Jeremy crying over him.

“Michael…” Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael gently, causing the shorter boy to flinch away in surprise and pain. “I-I can’t l-lose you…”

Michael tried to pull away from Jeremy as tears started to flow down his face. “Y-You’ve le-left me b-before just fine-fine!” Michael let out a wail as he started sobbing hard.

Jeremy froze at hearing Michael wail and start sobbing hard. “M-Michael… I’m so-so sorry… T-This is all m-my fault… I ne-never meant to h-hurt you…” He didn’t let go of Michael but instead held him tighter as he softly rubbed his back, trying to calm him down.

Michael stopped resisting and buried his head into Jeremy’s chest, sobbing as he clung onto the back of his cardigan. “I-I-I’m sor-sorry! I-I’m so-so s-sorry!” He wailed out, shaking.

Jeremy sat down on the bed next to Michael, cuddling up to him. “Shhh, it’s o-okay Mikey, i-it’s okay…”

“No it-it’s n-not! I m-made you cry-cry and now I-I’m stuck h-here!” Michael wailed as Jeremy pulled him away slightly, cupping his face and brushing away his tears.

“It’s okay M-Mikey, I don’t c-care about you making me c-cry and I’ll be r-right here with y-you, I won’t l-leave you a-alone…” Jeremy murmured, softly kissing Michael’s forehead like he did whenever Michael would get upset when they were kids.

Michael sniffed, hiding his face in Jeremy’s neck as he started calming down. “Pl-Please don’t l-leave me-me…”

“I won’t M-Michael, I swear I w-won’t ever...” Jeremy murmured reassuringly as he ran a hand through the shorter boy’s hair. “I promise…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna talk or have any suggestions you can at my tumber @Winiter-Writes


	5. Sometimes Things are Better Left Untalked About.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael wakes up to the Squip Squad and is forced to talk about something he’d rather forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, this week has just been crazy but it won’t take as much time next time.

Michael woke up to Jeremy curled up next to him, his glasses hanging off of his face, pushing them up and looking towards the door to see the Squip Squad sitting in the chairs talking quietly, not wanting to wake them.

Christine looked over at hearing movement, shooting a small smile at Michael as he stared at them. “Hey Mikey, how are you feeling?” She kept her voice soft and light as the others conversations died down once they realized Michael was awake.

Michael tried to sit up to look at them better before letting out an annoyed huff when pain ran through his body. “Definitely been better.”

Jeremy let out a grumble when Michael tried to move, tightening his arms around him more causing Michael to take in a sharp breath.

Rich raised an eyebrow as he looked at the two. “Did something happen between you two?”

“Besides crying and making up, nothing really.” Michael attempted to causally shrug before looking at Jenna. “You’re not going to tell anyone about this right?”

Jeremy let go of Michael, sitting up with a yawn as he rubbed at his eyes, he was woken by the talking.

Jenna shook her head, crossing her arms. “I didn’t tell anyone about what happened with you at the Halloween party so I’m pretty sure I can go without telling anyone this.”

“What happened at the party?” Jake asked, looking over curiously. “You know, besides someone burning my house down.”

Rich rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at Jake. “I’ve always been pretty hot, it’s not my fault your house couldn’t handle it.”

Chloe shook her head, watching the two. “Can you two go five minutes without flirting.”

Michael was glaring at Jenna as he shook his head. “Nothing happened, remember?”

Jeremy frowned looking at Michael, knowing he was lying. “Mikey, you’re lying, what happened?”

Brooke nodded, giving Michael a soft smile. “You can tell us, we’re your friends after all.”

Jenna gave him a small shrug and mouthed sorry as Christine nodded, giving him a reassuring smile with Brooke.

Michael sighed, looking down at the ground. “I locked myself in the bathroom after Jeremy left from calling me a loser and I had a bad panic attack where I wanted to die…”

Jeremy’s face fell as he looked at Michael. “Mikey… I’m so sorry… I didn't know…”

Michael shrugged slightly. “It’s fine, you didn’t know and I knew I would have to tell you guys eventually…” He mumbled, keeping his gaze on the ground.


	6. This is the end of this

Well I may come back to do this some day but for now, it’s at the end of its life because I’ve had so much going on and haven’t been up to continuing this. 


End file.
